So May has just come to a close and I see how I have not made a single entry this month. Life can get pretty busy sometimes and all I can say is that it sure has been a tough month for me. Unfortunately I am now between jobs, as they say and there is no unemployment cheque for me, to help soften the blow. :(
Of course my age has something to do with this as well. Most if not all companies that I have contacted are actually looking for younger people or just pay minimum wage with no benefits or sick leave. Also, many are just looking for temporary workers, and let people go after three or four months.
All this, as you may imagine, has affected my attitude towards finding work. I'm finding that I am getting into states of depression and feelings of hopelessness lately. All of my life I have been a very positive person and able to get through tough times with various amounts of difficulty. Married and divorced, deaths in the family, out of work, no vehicle, no bus fare etc have all been managed and somehow I made it through them. However, this period in my life is proving to be the most difficult ever. I don't really know where to turn next. Soon, I will be contemplating giving up my cheap apartment, trashing 90% of my worldly possessions, and seeking lodging at the nearest Sally Ann, with a knapsack.
I find it very hard to write in here now. My mind is not where it usually is. To live in society, you must have plenty of money these days. Without it, you hardly exist. My close friend Mark, has helped me mentally by getting me to do a little camping in our hammocks. He introduced me to the benefits of hanging and I found that it even helps my aging and aching back. So mentally and physically I have had that to help me continue.
I took a bike ride to the Ottawa River the other day and set my unit up in a shady little spot, to escape the hot sun. Here's a picture of my camp along with my old bike.
It felt great to be out in the fresh air with this simple, home in the woods, concept. Along with a little food, it felt like it was all that I really needed to be happy right now. I love simple things.
Even though that trip lightened my mental load, I just don't think I can use that anymore to out weigh all the negative stuff that's now trying to blast me out of existence.
Oh ya, forgot to mention that I am also having some sort of leg/back problem that has really slowed me down. I use a cane or walking stick to get around now and I can see that as being a deterrent for any future employers too. :(
Last but not least, I think that I am perhaps the loneliest person in the world. People that I can call real friends also have their own lives to worry about and take care of, so I try to never burden them with my problems.
Is this what it's like for hundreds or perhaps thousands of others out there now? Being poor or old or injured, most certainly does effect how one thinks and even acts. Did I mention I picked up 29 beer cans while out with the hammock? Yup, turned them into some tuna and a Mama rice pack food from the Dollarama store. Sure glad they pay 10 cents per can up here now. I'm researching places on the net, where I can sell the little box of computer CPU's that I have been collecting for the last few years. Hopefully the shipping charges won't kill the deal.
So I had to share this humorous blog post from an excellent blog, which I recently discovered while checking into my own roots. Brought a good smile to my face, hopefully it will bring one to your too. :) lb
Just a few more pics tonight that I just pulled off my little 2mg card out of this neat little digital pocket camera I always have with me. What a Jim dandy unit this E30 turns out to be after almost 3 years of faithful service and great results, under many not always nice, outdoorsy conditions. :)
These pictures are more or less all Ottawa views, taken from different vantage points, and angles are sought sometimes to complete a picture. I sometimes like this kind of shoot, where I mosey around with both brown peepers wide open, on the hunt for a few of the coolest angles in the city...
Hope you enjoy your little tour of the Nation's Capital here, a little drum roll please. lol
Where downtown meets uptown and vice-versa and stuff. That's right folks, it's the world famous Chateau Laurier, right there on the old main drag of uptown/downtown Ottawa.
Now we're out at what used to be called the Cattle Barn, back in the day. Thanks to our forefathers for creating such an awesome structure so long ago to withstand the hands of time till past the year 2010...
Oh wow, we've slipped into the commerce zone down here at Slater & Metcalfe where all the shiny buildings reside and a Timmy's lives on every second or third block or so...
Holly Molly, I think they're going to have to change the name of this one to, Mirror Street. Hehe.
Man, this glittery, flashy, mirror stuff seems to really have hit the Building Fashion World large. Everybody's into it. Go A! :)
Off to the avenues now, where the down slope behind homes and properties, back onto parks and ponds, alive with birds and trees, lots of squirrels and also friendly people reside still...
And last but not least, as I head west and home for the day, this neat older structure catches my wandering eye. How beautifully it blends in with it's environment It sits up in the Central Experimental Farm and doesn't look like it gets a lot of use much anymore?
I'm taking the time to take some of the pictures out of my camera's card, to add in here as a way to show just what I've been up to lately. Of course, that's when life is good. When I start taking lots of pics it tells me I'm ok. My creative mind runs loose and I capture some decent stuff. When the camera hardly gets used at all, it tells me that life is just getting too darned complicated for this ol' bushman to handle properly anymore.
A campfire or cooking fire has ALWAYS drawn me to the forests and streams, where me and nature meet. I do believe that hanging your hammocks out in the woods with a best bud, just has to rank
right up there with some of the very best stuff in life. I do indeed
LOVE my hammock and would recommend anyone, to look into getting one.
They even "fix" sore backs. I know that from my own experience too.
So anyway, here's a peek at a few of the things
I've enjoyed this past spring and summer.
What to write about to-day? That's never been a problem with me. What the problem for me seems to be at least lately, is finding the time and or the inspiration to sit down and share my thoughts with y'all. I find that my mind has to be in sort of a happy state, relaxed and feeling safe, in order to let the creative writing juices flow. As of the last little while, I have not much been in that state, due to many outside forces. I've been letting things get me down and that is not the normal me. Normally I'm pretty jacked about being alive and little stuff like going for a tour on my old beat up mountain bike, turns me on and brings a smile to my face. The mind is such an amazing place. Without a good mind, the body becomes more of a burden. We have to steer that body to do the things we enjoy more. A sharp mind steers like a sailboat in the wind whereas a duller one, works like a one armed guy in a row boat kind of.
Here's a picture that brightened up my last week-end, camping up in the Calabogie area with my close friend Mark. We hung our hammocks by the shore of a lake and stepped back in time to a non pressure filled place. Nice landing job with that fatty Large Mouth Bass there buddy Mark. Looked like it was going to win the battle with the shoreline branches,for a minute or two there. :)